A boy walked through the hills and woods, spending hours and hours over the years listening to nothing but the birds chirping, the wind blowing through the leaves, and the thoughts in his head. His mind wandered as much as his feet. This lifestyle was part of the fertile soil that produced the Theory of Relativity, E=mc2, and the Photoelectric Effect.
A British woman took a 4-hour train ride alone, with nothing to do but stare out the window. When she arrived at her destination, Harry Potter’s journeys had just begun.
A university professor sat bored surrounded by stacks of papers to grade. He came upon an essay page that the student had left blank, and inspiration struck. The professor wrote on that blank page, “In a hole in the ground, there lived a hobbit.”
But Isn’t Boredom Bad?
Bored to death. Bored out of my gourd. Bored stiff. Culturally, boredom does not bring positive connotations. When you look at boredom’s impact on history though, it is truly the basis for many remarkable scientific and cultural phenomena.
What if Albert Einstein had grown up in an age of video games? What if Rowling had a cell phone and binge watched Netflix the entire train ride? What if Tolkien had a podcast playing in the background and was also texting a friend between graded papers?
“Boredom allows one to indulge in curiosity, and out of curiosity comes everything.” This is true, and its source makes it one of the most ironic statements I’ve heard in a long time, because Steve Jobs said it.
Steve Jobs — the co-creator of the iPhone and other tech toys that are the biggest reasons boredom has become obsolete today – championed boredom.
Believe it or not, I’m not trying to demonize technology – it has some valuable uses. But the combination of technology’s purposefully addictive qualities and our lack of self-control (if we’re being honest) means it’s the most likely candidate to keep us from experiencing boredom.
This Begs the Questions:
In today’s world, what are we and our kids missing out on? What “eureka!” moments are we not having? What creative characters or inventions are not popping into our minds because there’s no space for them to pop?
Because that’s what boredom does: it creates space.
Space for our minds to wander.
Space for us to take notice.
Space for our creativity to spread its wings.
We desperately need boredom. Our kids desperately need boredom. Though it’s not nearly as easy to achieve in today’s world, we can become intentional about developing it just like any other skill or habit.
What Makes it Tough
Boredom creates a feeling of discomfort. Most often we have to admit this momentary discomfort sends a message to our hand to reach out and pick up our phone before we consciously realize we’re doing it.
This moment of discomfort causes our kids to ask us for the 40th time today if they can have screen time, or a snack, or to stand looking at all their toys and books and claim there’s “nothing to do.”
So how do we combat this? As with so many habits, we don’t have to perform some complete overhaul; what if we simply start with small pockets of time:
Have five minutes before the kids get home? Just stand there and think. Look out the window and daydream. Wipe down the kitchen counter or do something else that leaves space for your mind to wander.
Waiting in line? Watch people; take notice of your surroundings; eavesdrop. Writer Madeleine L’Engle said, “If we allow our ‘high creativity’ to remain alive, we will never be bored. We can pray, standing in line at the super market. Or we can be lost in awe at all the people around us, their lives full of glory and tragedy, and suddenly we will have the beginnings of a painting, a story, a song.”
Boredom Plus Character
As we start doing things like this ourselves, we can help our kids practice boredom. Depending on the child, however, we can’t simply throw them to the wolves without any guidance. “In essence, boredom is not merely a “dead” moment, but a “pain-like” signal that pushes for change, with the outcome depending on whether the individual uses that energy for constructive (creative) or destructive (risky) actions.” (Sadly I can’t remember where I got this quote, but it’s too good not to use)
Some people, generally those without a decent sense of right and wrong yet, go looking for trouble when they’re bored. This trouble could be as simple as pestering their older siblings, or as bad as trying drugs or damaging property.
So how do we guide our children toward healthy boredom? When they come to us with phrases like, “There’s nothing to do,” or “I’m so bored,” or the more sneaky, “Can I watch something?”
The first step is to recognize our habitual feeling that we need to immediately allow screen time or spoon-feed them a smorgasbord of boredom-busting ideas.
We don’t.
We can see this not as a problem we have to solve, but as a wonderful opportunity. If your children are more capable of using boredom properly, tell them things like,
- “I can’t wait to hear what you figure out.”
- “Boredom is a blessing.”
- “I can think of some chores if you can’t find anything else to do.”
- “Go outside.”
This will likely be met with groanings, but they will be well worth it when you see what your kids end up discovering on their own.
For kids who need a little guidance responding to boredom properly, you can say things like:
- “What have you not done in a while that you enjoyed doing?”
- Similarly: “See what you can find in the bottom of your toy bin/back of your closet.”
- “What can you build with those Legos/blocks?”
These give some guidance without doing their thinking for them.
There may be some “Eureka!” moments here and there, but this is a marathon, not a sprint. We’re not looking to have genius bubbling up each and every time we or our kids have been bored; we’re creating that space we talked about earlier. Remember, Einstein didn’t flesh out his theories as a child, but the habit of mental margin paved the way over time for them.
How about you? I’d love to hear how you take advantage of the little moments to create margin in your day.
Here’s to rekindling the boredom in our lives!