Her Sacred Burden

Systems in Homemaking – What I learned from a Video Game

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My husband used to have a Sega game system and wanted to get me involved, so he got me Sim City.

In this game, you essentially create people and then live their lives. From above and diagonal as if I were a giant looking down into a roofless house, I could see each of her rooms.  Bedroom, bathroom, kitchen, living room.  

I was supposed to take care of her basic needs – sleep, use the bathroom, wash dishes.  She could study too, take college courses, read the newspaper. Problem was, I could never get the poor girl past her basic needs.  I’d have her step out to get the newspaper and she’d collapse on the sidewalk because I hadn’t made her sleep for 26 hours (the “clock” was sped up, so hours passed more quickly than in reality).  She’d be washing the dishes but then start the pee-pee dance because I hadn’t made her go in 7 hours.  Flies buzzed above the toilet and kitchen sink because she hadn’t been cleaning enough.  Since I couldn’t keep up on all these things, I never moved her on to reading or furthering her education. I just went from one minor crisis to the next.

It turned out to be a surprisingly stressful game and I didn’t try to master it for long.

“Art” Imitating Life

I know now that it was stressful partly because I didn’t have my own home life organized at all.  It became too much of a mirror into my own haphazard way of living.

Have you ever felt something similar? Maybe we haven’t gone 7 hours between bathroom breaks or 26 hours before sleep, but sometimes we struggle getting the hang of basic household and life needs efficiently so that we truly have the bandwidth to pursue the bigger things.

And taking care of those basic needs is important. It’s honorable to learn to look after our homes and families well, because even the least glamorous tasks add to a peaceful atmosphere.

Notice I said learns to look after it “well.” 

Nothing perfect, nothing spotless, but intentionally using our strengths and growing in or outsourcing our weaknesses to keep the basics from becoming chaotic, taking too much time and energy to manage.

For a long time I didn’t realize this was a problem in my everyday life.  I thought it was normal and “showing myself grace” to have the dishes piled high in the sink and overflowing to the counter, or having a laundry hamper mountain.  In an emergency or temporary situation, leaving things like that can be a show of grace to ourselves, but for me in the normal day-to-day, it was simply a lack of self-discipline.

In the next post, we’ll look at some specific ideas for systems to help us gain traction in our homes.  The tricky part is, we can have the absolute best systems mapped out in our minds, but if we don’t have self-control and self-discipline, those systems will be of little use to us.  So let’s explore those first.

Growing in Self-discipline

If you visit this blog much, you’ll read often about self-discipline and self-control, for two reasons:

  1. I’ve struggled with them mightily.
  2. They are extremely lacking in our society and the Christian community specifically.

These are baseline skills that affect everything else, meaning that if we have decent self-control and self-discipline, it will positively impact our marriages, physical health, parenting, friendships, work ethic, homemaking, homeschooling, etc. But if we have poor self-control and self-discipline, it can negatively affect all those areas.

So how do we grow in self-control and self-discipline?  We are both spiritual and physical beings, and this area is no exception: we grow through prayer and daily choices.

Prayer: Self-control did, after all, make it onto the list of the Fruit of the Spirit, so why try developing it without the Lord’s help?  Prayer is one of those things we underestimate because it’s so simple, but sincerely seeking God’s help is incredibly powerful.

Daily choices: With God, it’s often a partnership of:  pray for help and wisdom, take action: repeat. It might help to look at self-discipline/self-control as a muscle.  From never lifting anything heavier than a box of donuts, we won’t immediately bench press 100 pounds.  It’s about the daily build-up toward these things.

The late John MacArthur gave a good example; he’d say no to himself at least once every day, often over something that would’ve been harmless.  Could he eat that piece of candy?  Sure. He hadn’t had much all day. But he would take this little opportunity to tell himself no, to build that muscle of self-control. 

We don’t need to go to any extremes. This doesn’t mean we always tell ourselves no. It means we practice with intention and hone it like we would any other skill, building confidence as we go. 

We need this confidence because sometimes we lose trust in ourselves. When we make the plans, dream the dreams, set the goals, and then we don’t go through with them, over time we essentially trust ourselves less.

If we can’t tell ourselves what to do and actually do it, we can go through life still relatively unscathed – because we have other people telling us what to do (bosses), or we have other people’s immediate needs (husband, children) essentially “telling” us what to do. It’s a little bit easier when it’s from an outside source.

But significant change and growth come when no one cares whether or not we do the thing, and we do it anyway. Whether we’re talking about tidying up the house or pursuing a calling from God.

What’s the Difference?

Are self-control and self-discipline essentially the same thing?  They both have to do with a mastery of our own choices in the moment, but they are each unique.  Webster and Oxford describe them this way:

Self-control: restraint exercised over one’s own impulses, emotions, or desires

Self-discipline: correction or regulation of oneself for the sake of improvement; restraint; willpower

The way I see it, self-control is what I tell myself not to do when my impulse is to do it, and self-discipline is what I tell myself to do when my impulse is not to do it.

Self-control is saying no to the third cookie.

Self-discipline is saying yes to the third pushup.

Self-control is saying no to the angry words building in my mind.

Self-discipline is saying yes to time spent with the Lord who helps me in my anger.

Self-control is saying no to the urge to pick up my cell phone and scroll.

Self-discipline is saying yes to being present or picking up a book instead.

Self-control is reactive.

Self-discipline is proactive.

In part two of this series, we’ll look at some systems we can implement as we work on taking care of our homes well so we can also pursue the other callings in our lives.  Let’s begin praying for God to grow us in self-control and self-discipline, then make some imperfect progress exercising those “muscles” today. 

Elements of a Successful Homeschool Day

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Over the years, I’ve found that homeschool success is a relative term, a pot of gold at the end of the rainbow.  My success won’t look like yours.  Heck, mine won’t look like mine in 6 months or a year.  As soon as you decide you’ve achieved it, it can shift and change. 

It shifts with the folding of fall into winter and then into spring.  It shifts with children who grow out of one phase and into the next; every time you add a new baby into your family and when your oldest graduates and moves out. 

For me these days, with a middle school daughter and high school son, a successful homeschool day is simple: they’ve gotten all their school subjects done for the day, plus all their chores, by about 2 p.m. (my son’s takes about that long; my daughter is usually done earlier).  This includes stopping for snack and lunch, and moments of complete derailing and getting back on track.

If you’re new to homeschooling or to this concept in general, don’t worry.  Having great homeschool days is a skill that can be honed over time.  Truly if there’s anything I’ve learned from homeschooling, it’s that we parents are learning just as much as our children, just not always from a textbook.

So what are some steps you can take toward a homeschool routine to be proud of?

Anchors Away

I used to think that in homeschooling, structure had to come from a schedule.  That schedule had to be specific and detailed so I wouldn’t forget anything.

8-9 a.m. History

9-9:30 a.m. Grammar

9:30-10:15 a.m. Math

10:15-10:30 – Snack

Etc. etc. 

Anyone else find this to be incredibly satisfying on paper?

Me too.

In my home though, this has been about as successful as goulash dinners.  Inevitably, a subject takes longer than I anticipated, or one child can’t seem to focus or is having a rough day which makes everything take longer.  Then we’re late for the next scheduled subject which will mean we’re late for the next, and I feel behind and defeated the rest of the day.

We’ve found something that works far better for us: having anchors throughout our day. These are just a few things we do try to keep on a decent timetable: The kids wake up at 7:15, we start breakfast and read-aloud at about 8:00, have mid-morning snack around 10:00.  Lunch time around noon.  Between these anchors they do their school subjects; the heavier subjects first when they’re fresher, and the easier toward the end.

Be Flexible, Not Flimsy

Flexible things keep their general shape but are still bendable. This is similar to the rhythm vs. rigid schedule concept, except this applies to us moms when it comes to our favorite word: self-discipline.

God is working overtime on me concerning self-discipline in recent years.  I’ve always been a laid-back, type B personality.  I figured the things that needed to work out would find a way.  I would put forth some effort, but was not great at seeing things through.

On top of this, I’ve struggled for years with becoming easily fatigued.  Sapped energy + type B personality does not make a winning combination.

One of the beautiful things about homeschooling is the flexibility of schedule and number of choices we moms get to make.  That is something to be enjoyed and celebrated.  But if we constantly change our routine based on how motivated we feel or on the stuff of life that comes up throughout our week, we will be slaves to those feelings and unknowns.  I’ve known people who ended up, when they stopped and looked at their last few months, realizing they’d only done school about 9 days out of each month.  Yikes!  And this was not because of a new baby or a big health crisis. It was simply a habit of allowing other things to crowd in on school days and overtake them.

Flexible = rhythm

Flimsy = no self-discipline

So how do we know when we’ve crossed over from flexible to flimsy?    First, it’s a matter of praying for wisdom.  In the moment, we stop and ask the Lord to help us understand our motivations and be honest with ourselves: is this an opportunity to exert self-discipline, or to go with the flow and enjoy the freedom of the homeschool life?   

If you don’t already, keeping attendance of full and half days can be a helpful peek into your recent and long-term habits.  And keep notes: if you didn’t do a full day, was it because you got sidetracked with something educational the kids got really excited about?  Or was it just random stuff of life that got in the way?

Become a student of what works best for you and for your kids. Take note of habits and routines as they come to you. Journal about them.  Whatever helps you best gain some perspective on your general homeschool habits.

Margin

This is similar to not having a rigid schedule, but takes it one step further.  Are you allowing for the inevitable tantrums, spills, unmotivated kids, school subjects that take longer than expected? Are you trying to make your family and homeschool run like a well-oiled machine?   Remember, these are image-bearing souls we are raising and teaching. They’re not going to run like machines. 

There are certainly ways we should teach our children to work efficiently – training them to focus, helping them develop good time management skills – but we are helping God shape souls. And in a sinful world that’s a messy, often inefficient job.  Building margin into your day can help you keep from feeling constantly behind the 8 ball.  Even on a relaxed rhythm, there will be bumps along the way.  Learning to navigate those bumps with the Lord on a daily basis, expecting them and allowing for them in our routine, will help us have the “reverence for our sacred burden” more in the forefront of our minds instead of constantly checking the clock.

Keep it Simple, Silly

Do you have too many things going on?  The belief that every child needs an activity (or multiple) every semester is showing itself to be a recipe for burnout.  But simplifying doesn’t mean they miss out on every opportunity.  Our son showed interest in baseball for a while and asked about playing on a team.  My husband and I looked at the schedule.  We knew it would put a strain on our schedule and bank account, and decided we weren’t going to pursue it at that time.  He went on to choose a chess class which is once a week, 1.5 hours.  Always at the same time, same place.  He loves it and it works for our family as a whole. 

Don’t forget saying no to one thing means saying yes to another.  Why not say no to complicated, and yes to more simple and peaceful activities?

Some practical tips for success:

  • Designate a shelf or bin for each child’s schoolbooks
    • This does not hold random papers, for-fun reading, or 572 eraser tops; it’s exclusively for the few books they need for this semester.
  • Make a chart showing which school subjects and chores are done on which days.
  • Have a “closing shift” routine: At the end of the school day, take a few minutes to prepare the school space for the next morning (I’m also a firm believer in the kids putting their schoolbooks away as they finish each subject, so there’s less to clutter the table throughout the day)
  • Have a list of lunch and snack possibilities for each week so you don’t have to stand at the fridge at 11:45 wondering what to feed your people. 

Wrap-up:

Decide what a realistic successful day would look like for you in this season

Try anchors to help you gain a rhythm instead of a rigid schedule

Be flexible but not flimsy – pray for wisdom to know the difference

Expect the unexpected, and build time into your day for it

Consider simplifying your routine for the sake of peace and calm in your days

More Than Happy: The Wisdom of Amish Parenting – A Book Review

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Author Serena Miller was already immersed in Amish culture.  She’d written novels based on it, and during her research she noticed the difference in their children compared to the wider American culture.  They seemed content, calm.  She’d never seen one throw a fit, never seen an Amish mother hurrying to give her child what he wanted so he’d stop crying. 

She says, “As I visited with, ate with, and worked with various Amish families, I continued to be impressed with their industriousness and with their children.  What were they doing right?  What were we missing out on?”  This led to a deep dive into Amish parenting.

The book has brief chapters grouped in sections titled: Family, Community, Discipline, Work Ethic, Technology, and Faith.  While each one offered helpful perspective, these are the biggest things that stuck out for me.

The Amish Pause

This is the first I’d heard of the “Amish pause.”  Children are taught by example that if asked a question, they should consider their answer up to 10 times before responding.  This brings an entirely different cadence to Amish conversations.  There’s no fast-paced word flinging. They talk and pause, talk and pause, choosing their words thoughtfully.

We often hail quick thinkers and smooth speakers, but we are also in more danger of saying damaging things.  We could take a lesson from our Amish neighbors and develop a habit in ourselves first, then our children, of choosing our words carefully.  After all, “death and life are in the power of the tongue” (Proverbs 18:21).

Skills and Work Ethic

One day Miller decided to cook for her Amish friends.  As often happens in this close-knit community, when others heard that an “Englisch” woman was making a special dinner, they wanted in.  A meal she thought would be for 7-8 people turned into a meal for almost 30!  As she worked, her friend and her four daughters helped.  Miller was reluctant to involve the 5-year-old, convinced she’d slow them down.  But when she finally gave her the rolling pin, she saw how wrong she’d been.  After watching the process once, this little girl mixed the ingredients, rolled out the dough, and cut the noodles almost as straight as Miller had. 

When Miller gushed over how big a girl she was, the girl looked confused, almost insulted at the praise, as if she wondered why she wouldn’t be handy in the kitchen.

Since helping is not a special occasion but an everyday occurrence, even the smallest of the bunch become quite capable.  Instead of dismissing kids while we do these tasks, why not involve them regularly?  When we don’t involve them in the work, not only are we hinting that we don’t need them–and children thrive on being needed–we are keeping them from learning valuable skills which would greatly help them and us in the future.  Of course, this applies to more than kitchen work. There’s yard work, household chores, skill-based hobbies, a home business, and more.

Education

Surprisingly, most Amish children only go to school through 8th grade.  Our natural assumption might be that this severely limits them; that they can “only” farm with that education.  But take a look at the vast variety of businesses Amish people build from the ground up with this 8th grade knowledge – bakeries, woodworking, construction, metal working, handmade clothing stores, the list goes on.  And businesses are complex organisms with many moving parts – not for the faint of heart or the dull-minded. 

So how can an 8th grade education do this?  While the foundation of education they do have is important, it’s equally about the work ethic and common sense that’s built into them from the time they’re toddlers.  When at 14 they are expected to put their knowledge and work ethic into practice as employees or entrepreneurs, they get real-world experience much earlier than most of us.  One Amish business owner said, “…as a Mennonite, I’m not against formal education, but some of the most difficult people I’ve ever had to train were also some of the most highly educated.  It’s as though they had spent so much time in school, they somehow lost their common sense.”

Balance and perspective are key.  We don’t have to give school, chores, and real-job experience an equal amount of time – there’d be no time for anything else.  We can strive to give them an equal weight of importance though.  Meaning, school might take 4-8 hours a day (depending on homeschool vs. public school hours), and chores might only take 45 minutes, but it’s just as important to do chores on time and with their best effort. 

I also want to carefully tailor their schoolwork to their actual needs.  If they want to be a doctor, then certainly there needs to be more intense education. But if they want to be a stay-at-home mom or work in a trade, we don’t have to put them on the American education conveyer belt of rigorous high school followed by rigorous college (followed by rigorous debt pay-off).  It’s not for everyone, and that’s okay.

The Discipline of Patience

This quote really says it well:

“Patience, long-suffering, and forbearance are built into the Amish psyche and lifestyle, not only in their church services, but in many other practical ways.  It takes patience to plod along in a horse and buggy at ten miles per hour while Englisch cars whiz past.  It takes patience to plow one’s fields with teams of horses while a tractor-owning Englisch neighbor plows several fields in a fraction of the time.  It takes patience to dress in such a way that makes tourists gawk and point.  It takes patience to walk all the way out to the phone shanty every time one needs to make a phone call and patience to deal with the myriad of relatives who live close by.

But there are payoffs.

Patience pays off in the much-sought-after Amish-made items that sometimes support entire communities. Amish furniture, baskets, quilts, food, and sturdily built houses are renowned for excellent craftsmanship and quality.”

And this lifestyle doesn’t just create benefits as adults.  It shows up in the way that even toddlers can sit quietly during their hours-long church services; in the surprising lack of interruptions during gatherings when adults are talking; in their ability to see a project through from start to finish, and many other small moments throughout their lives.

No book will create a perfect parent or child, but I do wish I’d read this when my kids were younger.  At 15 and 12, there’s certainly still shaping and raising to be done, and I have already begun to put some of the book’s concepts into practice.  So I absolutely recommend this book to people whose kids are in middle or high school, but it would be even more powerful in the hands of those who have young children in their lives.

Miller says of non-Amish people, “I am impressed with the dedication of our young parents. They are so very earnest and they try so hard and yet I see the fatigue and stress on their faces.  I hear their frustrations in trying to discipline their children…” (emphasis added).

I personally remember that fatigue and stress well, and now that my kids are older and I’m looking back at the things I’ve learned, I’m realizing that I’m the one who often allowed the frustrations that led to that fatigue.  I do my best to show myself grace-we all have things to learn-but the biggest takeaway for me is something Miller doesn’t even directly say, but is written between each line: much of the time, we parents are the ones causing or allowing behavior in our children that then causes so much friction, fatigue and stress in us. 

We can be so earnest, so dedicated, have so many warm feelings toward our children. But as God has so clearly shown, real love doesn’t allow sinful habits to grow in us or in our children.  Little habits based on real love build a contented life.

The Lost Skill of Boredom – and How to Develop it

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A boy walked through the hills and woods, spending hours and hours over the years listening to nothing but the birds chirping, the wind blowing through the leaves, and the thoughts in his head.  His mind wandered as much as his feet.  This lifestyle was part of the fertile soil that produced the Theory of Relativity, E=mc2, and the Photoelectric Effect.

A British woman took a 4-hour train ride alone, with nothing to do but stare out the window.   When she arrived at her destination, Harry Potter’s journeys had just begun.

A university professor sat bored surrounded by stacks of papers to grade.  He came upon an essay page that the student had left blank, and inspiration struck.  The professor wrote on that blank page, “In a hole in the ground, there lived a hobbit.”

But Isn’t Boredom Bad?

Bored to death.  Bored out of my gourd.  Bored stiff.  Culturally, boredom does not bring positive connotations.  When you look at boredom’s impact on history though, it is truly the basis for many remarkable scientific and cultural phenomena. 

What if Albert Einstein had grown up in an age of video games?  What if Rowling had a cell phone and binge watched Netflix the entire train ride?  What if Tolkien had a podcast playing in the background and was also texting a friend between graded papers?

“Boredom allows one to indulge in curiosity, and out of curiosity comes everything.”  This is true, and its source makes it one of the most ironic statements I’ve heard in a long time, because Steve Jobs said it.

Steve Jobs — the co-creator of the iPhone and other tech toys that are the biggest reasons boredom has become obsolete today – championed boredom.

Believe it or not, I’m not trying to demonize technology – it has some valuable uses.  But the combination of technology’s purposefully addictive qualities and our lack of self-control (if we’re being honest) means it’s the most likely candidate to keep us from experiencing boredom.

This Begs the Questions:

In today’s world, what are we and our kids missing out on?  What “eureka!” moments are we not having? What creative characters or inventions are not popping into our minds because there’s no space for them to pop?

Because that’s what boredom does: it creates space.

Space for our minds to wander.

Space for us to take notice.

Space for our creativity to spread its wings.

We desperately need boredom.  Our kids desperately need boredom.  Though it’s not nearly as easy to achieve in today’s world, we can become intentional about developing it just like any other skill or habit.

What Makes it Tough

Boredom creates a feeling of discomfort.  Most often we have to admit this momentary discomfort sends a message to our hand to reach out and pick up our phone before we consciously realize we’re doing it.

This moment of discomfort causes our kids to ask us for the 40th time today if they can have screen time, or a snack, or to stand looking at all their toys and books and claim there’s “nothing to do.”

So how do we combat this?  As with so many habits, we don’t have to perform some complete overhaul; what if we simply start with small pockets of time:

Have five minutes before the kids get home?  Just stand there and think.  Look out the window and daydream.  Wipe down the kitchen counter or do something else that leaves space for your mind to wander.

Waiting in line?  Watch people; take notice of your surroundings; eavesdrop.  Writer Madeleine L’Engle said, “If we allow our ‘high creativity’ to remain alive, we will never be bored. We can pray, standing in line at the super market. Or we can be lost in awe at all the people around us, their lives full of glory and tragedy, and suddenly we will have the beginnings of a painting, a story, a song.”

Boredom Plus Character

As we start doing things like this ourselves, we can help our kids practice boredom. Depending on the child, however, we can’t simply throw them to the wolves without any guidance. “In essence, boredom is not merely a “dead” moment, but a “pain-like” signal that pushes for change, with the outcome depending on whether the individual uses that energy for constructive (creative) or destructive (risky) actions.”  (Sadly I can’t remember where I got this quote, but it’s too good not to use)

Some people, generally those without a decent sense of right and wrong yet, go looking for trouble when they’re bored.  This trouble could be as simple as pestering their older siblings, or as bad as trying drugs or damaging property.

So how do we guide our children toward healthy boredom?  When they come to us with phrases like, “There’s nothing to do,” or “I’m so bored,” or the more sneaky, “Can I watch something?”

The first step is to recognize our habitual feeling that we need to immediately allow screen time or spoon-feed them a smorgasbord of boredom-busting ideas.

We don’t.

We can see this not as a problem we have to solve, but as a wonderful opportunity. If your children are more capable of using boredom properly, tell them things like,

  • “I can’t wait to hear what you figure out.”
  • “Boredom is a blessing.”
  • “I can think of some chores if you can’t find anything else to do.”
  • “Go outside.”

This will likely be met with groanings, but they will be well worth it when you see what your kids end up discovering on their own.

For kids who need a little guidance responding to boredom properly, you can say things like:

  • “What have you not done in a while that you enjoyed doing?”
  • Similarly: “See what you can find in the bottom of your toy bin/back of your closet.”
  • “What can you build with those Legos/blocks?”

These give some guidance without doing their thinking for them.

There may be some “Eureka!” moments here and there, but this is a marathon, not a sprint. We’re not looking to have genius bubbling up each and every time we or our kids have been bored; we’re creating that space we talked about earlier.  Remember, Einstein didn’t flesh out his theories as a child, but the habit of mental margin paved the way over time for them. 

How about you?  I’d love to hear how you take advantage of the little moments to create margin in your day. 

Here’s to rekindling the boredom in our lives!          

Welcome to Her Sacred Burden

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Isn’t it a beautiful thing when a phrase or quote jumps out at you and encapsulates so thoroughly something you’ve been thinking and praying about? 

I’ve been praying about starting a blog for a few months, and before that it had a place firmly lodged in the back of my mind for years.  I’ve heard the discouraging stories of blogs that take 3 or more years to gain a good readership and any kind of income, and I’ve seen the stories (are they clickbait?  Who knows…) of people who’re earning an income on a blog within 3 months. 

I’ve followed blogs throughout the years that were instrumental in my growth and learning on anything from homeschooling to how to make my own laundry detergent. And more and more I’ve sensed that I want to be that person.  Be that helper who comes alongside someone else and teaches and encourages, not as someone who knows it all but as someone who’s learned some things she’s excited to share.

Since I was a child, I’ve wanted to write. And in these last months, the desire to start a blog has grown exponentially.  I thought and prayed about all kinds of things I could blog about. Who would my target audience be? How could I help them? What kinds of topics can I talk on and on about over weeks and months and years? Can I commit to a blog if it does become even moderately successful? 

I knew I wanted to write for people like me. As often as I can feel like I’m an odd duck, I know that I share the same struggles and interests and triumphs and goals as many other women, and I knew I wanted them to be my readers.  Moms, wives, Christians, homeschoolers, homemakers, health enthusiasts. I kept coming back to wanting to help other moms take care of themselves and their families well.

And then one day, I saw the quote.  I’m not even sure where.  Somewhere online, I’m sure.  It’s from Elisabeth Elliot in her book “The Shaping of a Christian Family.” 

She says, “The process of shaping the child, shapes the mother herself.  Reverence for her sacred burden calls her to all that is pure and good, that she may teach primarily by her own humble, daily example.”

And it resonated with me deeply.  It spoke to so many things I’ve been learning lately as a mom, and truly encapsulated all those varied topics that had swirled through my mind concerning the blog. 

I’ve struggled like any woman has with being exhausted as a mom, with wondering if what I’m doing makes any impact on them, with wanting to use the bathroom just once without hearing a knock and “Hey Mom?” at the door.  I’ve struggled with resenting motherhood and all that comes with it.

“The process of shaping the child, shapes the mother herself.”

A good potter knows he can’t do whatever he wants with the clay and have it magically take form, he’s got to work with the substance in ways it’s able to be used.  The potter has to learn and grow and try and fail and figure out this material he’s using as he’s figuring out how to shape it – what it can even be shaped into.

Likewise, we as moms need to learn and grow, adapt and try and fail. 

As we shape, we are shaped.

“Reverence for her sacred burden calls her to all that is pure and good…”

Like most people, I tend to think of a burden as a bad thing.  We hear people say, “I don’t want to be a burden” or complain about anything that’s going to take much work.  We want easy. We want life hacks.

But Jesus gives us a yoke and a burden.  A light and easy one compared to sin’s, but a burden nonetheless. Merriam-Webster defines burden as “something that is carried; load; duty; responsibility.” 

God Himself has given us a responsibility as moms to raise our kids to the best of our abilities, hanging on to Him as we do for strength and guidance.  So to call being a mother to my two children my sacred burden is not a complaint, but about as beautiful and realistic as it gets.

“that she may teach primarily by her own humble, daily example.”

The little things matter.  Our habits as moms. How we talk to or about our husbands. Our time spent with God in His Word.  Bringing Him up in conversation. Stopping to have the tough discussions that always seem to come up at 10:00 p.m.  Cleaning the vomit from the carpet at 3:00 a.m.  Having a plan for dinner every. Single. Day. Of. Our. Lives.

We can do all that without reverence, without striving for purity and goodness, without humility. But we are called not just to the basic physical needs.  We’re called also to the spiritual, mental, emotional. There are complex image-bearing people in our care.  The sacredness of the burden draws us to higher things.

All told at the inception of this blog, I’m nervous. I’m excited. I wonder if I’m wasting my time.  I can’t seem to figure out the next step without much wondering and questioning and Googling. But I’m here.  Let’s see what happens.